I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this; but I’m a prolific eavesdropper.
I can never sit in a crowded room without accidentally tuning into random conversations that happen around me. And sometimes; I hear some gems.
I was sitting in a cafe in Canggu and overheard an interesting conversation between two guys. One was talking about how disappointed he was with himself that he hadn’t gone to the gym that morning. He felt like a flake, because he hadn’t stuck to ‘the plan’ the way he was supposed to.
As I sat sipping on my coffee (and listening like the creep I am) I totally identified with him. I’ve spent so much time in the past feeling disappointed in myself for not ‘sticking to the plan’. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve created an elaborate plan of how I’m going to change my entire diet or start a new exercise regime overnight; only to not follow through. The guilt is real. I knew exactly how this guy felt.
So I was surprised when the friend he was complaining to had the most amazing response. Here’s what he said:
“Every time we do something good for ourselves (like going to the gym, eating well etc) it’s like flexing a muscle. We get stronger and stronger the more we do it. But if, by chance, we chose not to practice that goodness one day; it’s not the end of the world. It’s merely a missed opportunity to have ‘flexed that muscle’ that day. Your progress isn’t over. Your goals haven’t come to a complete stop. You’ve merely missed the opportunity to flex THAT DAY. You don’t always need to stick to the plan. The opportunity isn’t over.”
This resonated with me so much. A few weeks ago I hopped on a plane and flew to Melbourne on a one way ticket. I had literally no plan for what I was going to do once I got here; other than hang out with precious friends and (of course) write. It turned out to be a life-changing experience. It literally rearranged my world; and made me question everything good and bad about myself. I absolutely LOVE and appreciate everything that happened while I was over there; but in my core I knew it was time for me to return to the place where I feel the most centred and grounded. Bali.
And so here I am. Sitting in a little cafe in Pererenan Beach, sipping on a coconut milk coffee, writing this blog post. I still have no plan. And I’m ok with it.
In the past I have wasted an insane amount of time reading goal-setting books and plotting out ridiculously intricate life maps. Trying to create the perfect playbook to ‘get shit done’ and plan everything out to the letter. But the truth is, none of this has worked for me.
Life doesn’t always go to plan. It can throw things at you that absolutely floor you. It can bring you to your knees in despair. Or bless you with magic so beautiful and unexpected that you never saw it coming. When I am concentrating on sticking to ‘a plan’ I tend to miss out on the spontaneous magic that is all around me.
I have also found that making plans left me feeling disappointed in myself, as I would rarely stick to them; so ended up feeling useless and undisciplined. If I didn’t achieve the things I set out to, I would waste time beating myself up and wondering what was wrong with me.
Plans are over-rated and - if we are realistic - guesses. You can make all the plans you want, but there’s no way any of us knows what the future really holds for us. I have hopes and dreams; but I don’t know exactly how my life is going to play out. And I love it that way. I want to live my life vibrantly; creating and crafting and sharing what’s on my heart. I want to test out ideas and projects - some which will work, and others that won’t. I want to live a life where I am constantly learning, constantly striving and being unafraid of failure. I want to live a life where I am completely out of my comfort zone.
Life is a winding journey, not a series of appointments in your diary. You don’t always need to plan out every step. There is beauty in surrendering to spontaneity. In giving yourself up to the unpredictable. In allowing life to surprise you with it’s magic. In letting yourself get swept up in adventure.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating living dangerously or putting yourself in situations that may harm you physically, emotionally or spiritually. I’m not encouraging you to live your life recklessly.
I simply believe that we should all live our lives with our hopes and dreams burning fiercely within us. That we should get up everyday and show up; working steadily and habitually towards the short-term things that matter to us the most.
What do you think? Obviously planning works for some people, so I’m interested to hear your thoughts. Has planning benefited your life, or do you prefer to wing it?
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