I’m currently living in a tiny wooden joglo.
It is miniature.
It has only one bedroom, and a little brick bathroom. The roof is woven from bamboo; and the floor boards creak when I walk. A dreamcatcher hangs from the roof; and muslin nets drape over my bed to keep out the mosquitos.
It’s quaint. Bare bones and rustic. And I love it. It feels like I am living in an adorable gypsy caravan.
I am totally surrounded by greenery and wood. Apparently working in an environment with lots of wood increases productivity, and enhances imaginative thinking.
If so; I’m definitely in the right place!
I’m choosing to lead a stripped back, minimal existence for the next few weeks.
Right now, this little space is working for me. The moment it stops working; I will move on. But for now, it is bliss.
I want to get rid of any outside distractions, and start vibing into a creative free-flow. Part of this process involves me being alone. Completely alone.
To do this, I am having to embrace solitude.
“Isn’t solitude just another word for loneliness?”
No. From the outside looking in; solitude and loneliness might look like the same thing. But they are totally different; and shouldn’t be confused with each other.
Loneliness is an intense negative emotion, and comes from feeling a lack of connection with others. When you’re lonely; you feel lost, isolated and alone - when that’s the last thing that you want to be.
Solitude, on the other hand; is when you want to be alone by choice. It is a positive state; where you are comfortable with yourself, and enjoy your own company. Solitude allows you to step away from day to day distractions, and think outside the box.
“Why the heck would you want solitude?”
I have spent so many years in survival mode, that it is essential for me to take some time out for self reflection. I need to explore new things and get to know myself; outside of any ‘roles’ that I have been playing up until now. I have been so consumed with just keeping my head above water; that I haven’t been able to look at the bigger picture.
It’s really wonderful to be alone; and to have the space to breathe and see things from a fresh perspective. Solitude is making me realise that I have actual control over my life; which is something that I haven’t felt in a long time. My stress levels are dropping dramatically as each day goes by; and I feel like I am slowly getting all of my senses back.
"Why is solitude good for us?"
In order to truly reflect and grow, we all need periods of solitude. It’s vital to spend some time alone and face your thoughts - to contemplate everything on a deeper level. You need to figure out who you really are; without being concerned with any outside influences. Here are just some of the reasons that solitude can be good for us:
It opens our minds.
It frees up our thinking and enhances our creativity; especially when we are functioning in survival mode. We become engrossed in being mothers, employees, neighbours - or what ever life roles we choose. Solitude helps us to consider everything outside of these roles; and to discover our innermost selves.
It offers an escape from over stimulation.
Solitude lets our minds unplug, refresh and revive. If we shut out all the outside noise (the internet, conversations, daily tasks) our brains can simply rest and wander. It is good to be alone with your thoughts. Instead of stressing about schedules or to-do lists; alone time gives you the space to think more deeply and with increased clarity.
It makes our bodies healthier.
Solitude calms down our nervous systems, which prevents us from burning out. When you have time to totally focus on recharging; it has a huge physical effect. Our muscles relax, our blood pressure decreases and our heart rate slows down. It helps enormously to soothe prolonged stress.
It makes us think creatively.
When your mind takes a break from all the chaos of the outside world; it has an opportunity to think in a different way. It’s easier to brainstorm, and come up with unique ideas or solutions that you may not have thought of otherwise. This is a huge reason why artists like to spend so much time alone.
It helps us to get to know ourselves.
Solitude lets us explore our existence through intense self-discovery. It gives us a chance to ask ourselves ‘the big’ questions. You can choose how to spend your time without worrying about anyone else's feelings. It can be a period of growth and reflection - a refreshing opportunity to revitalise and renew yourself.
It allows us to see the bigger picture.
When you’re busy ‘putting out fires’ every day, it can be impossible to see any further than what you are dealing with RIGHT NOW. Sometimes we live moment to moment; battling just to stay afloat. Solitude allows you to take a step back and really analyse what is going on and how you are feeling.
It can improve our relationships.
You know the whole empty cup saying? It’s true. When you spend time alone, you begin to understand who you are and what you stand for. You can unravel what is important to you; so that you can make better choices about what and who you chose to have in your life. You also appreciate and value company and relationships more, after spending time alone.
“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion." ― Albert Camus
Solitude is giving me the space and courage to process all of the new discoveries and situations that I am currently exploring. It is allowing me to really reflect on what I have been through, where I am at, and where I want to be.
Try and incorporate some solitude into your life when ever you can. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic - it could just be that you take a bath without any distractions; or do a ten minute brainstorming session alone in the morning; before anyone else wakes up.
Once you start practicing this you will become much more comfortable in your own skin. And once that happens, it will be so much easier to be your authentic self when others are around.
Don’t be afraid to be alone - it’s not always a bad thing!
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