This morning I spent an hour trying to kick start myself into working on my novel.
I tried all sort of things to get my head into the creative space that it needs to be in, in order to make ‘magic’ happen. I tried a lukewarm shower, and a hearty breakfast of bacon, eggs, greens and mushrooms. I washed it all down with a thick brew of potent Bali coffee. None of these ‘remedies’ helped to get my artistic juices flowing.
Then; the old voices started to crop up.
I felt the familiar feeling of fear beginning to take the drivers seat.
Why are you even bothering to write? You have no talent; and your book idea is pretty crap.
This is going to be a giant waste of time. Just go home and do something normal and safe.
Look - you don’t even have the discipline to put pen to paper this morning!
You’re not worthy of any type of success, so why even try?
I sat quietly for a while; listening to the voices and what they had to say.
And then, I politely told them to fuck off.
You see, I am here to follow my passion and my heart; not to seek validation from others. If I choose to rely on other people to ‘confirm’ my success or happiness; I’ll never be free.
So instead of allowing the voices of self-doubt to creep in, I focused on why I am here and what I want to achieve. I literally drowned out any thoughts that questioned my abilities or courage.
As humans, it’s natural for us to seek outside validation from those we love or care about. Whether we admit it or not; their opinions matter to us.
However; if they don’t give us the attention or props we feel we deserve, it can be easy to wallow in self-pity.
You can’t force people to see things from your perspective. It’s impossible to control others, or to change their point of view. You cannot make others ‘support’ or ‘value’ you, in the way that you may want them to.
Don’t waste your time allowing discouraging people to define who you are in the present.
Of course there are always going to be times in life when we’re going to feel unworthy. When we’ll believe that everyone else is more talented, beautiful or successful than us. This is a lie.
Try not to compare yourself with others. We’re all different, and that’s what is so amazing. There’s room enough for everyone to bloom in their own individual ways.
We all have different dreams. Make sure that you pursue your dreams in a way that matters to you; despite what anyone else thinks. Build up your inner strength and try to foster a healthy sense of self respect and acceptance. If you’re always comparing yourself to those around you, you’ll become stuck in a loop - thinking about the things you don’t have; instead of focusing on all the beauty that you already possess.
As you learn to build yourself up; also appreciate and be happy for other people and their successes and achievements. If you criticise others; it’s pretty much coming from your own lack of self worth.
Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.
Go easy. Speak kindly to yourself, the way you would to a good friend.
There’s no ‘right or wrong’ pace at which you should go through your life. You’re the only one who know’s what’s best for you; so be careful to live authentically. Try not to be swayed by what other people think is important.
Life isn’t a race. Savour the journey.
What makes you worthy?
If you’re doubting yourself, make a list of the things make you worthy. And I mean really worthy. I’m not talking about your job, the awards you may have won, or what kind of car you drive. I’m talking about the true qualities you possess that make you a valuable person.
It could be that you are generous, and always have plenty to give. It could be that you are honest, with an open heart; or forgiving and compassionate. Remind yourself of these qualities constantly; as they are the characteristics that really matter.
Don’t be afraid to walk away from anyone or anything that causes you to feel that you have to prove your worth.
Surround yourself with like-minded people, and create your own space to bloom.
Let Go!
This morning, I chose to let go of feeling unworthy.
I want to live my life with passion and courage; not through a lens of self-doubt.
I don’t want to cling to the illusion of unworthiness.
If I do; it will only poison my life, and waste my time and energy.
“The race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.” - Mary Theresa Schmich
You are so important, and have immeasurable value. Don’t be frightened to spend your time doing brave and ambitious things. Things that make you happy. Strive to live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling; on your own terms.
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