Yesterday I wrote a blog post about my
must-have travel items. It was the first blog post that I had written since Wednesday 15th May.
That’s a gap of three whole weeks where I didn’t post anything new.
Did I run out of topics to write about? Did I lose the desire to put pen to paper because I was busy traveling? No to both of the above.
There’s only one reason why I haven’t written a blog post in three weeks.
And that reason is anxiety.
If you’ve read any of my previous blog topics; you’ll know that anxiety is a guest that makes unwanted appearances in my life every so often. Sometimes; it drops in for a brief, fleeting visit. Other times; it hangs around for an agonising extended stay.
Unfortunately; it has spent the last three weeks overstaying it’s welcome.
My experience of anxiety is very confusing. It manifests itself in the strangest ways. I can do big, bold things with fearless ease (like pack up my life and move to an exotic country on the other side of the world); yet become crippled by ‘little things’ (like writing blog posts or locking in plans). It baffles me - and I’m the one living it!
This latest bout started with a small, niggley thought while I was in Vietnam. Something along the lines of ‘why bother writing another blog post when no-one will read it anyway’. Usually I can see these thoughts for what they are (bullshit); but I mistakenly allowed that small, niggley thought to fester, and turn into something bigger.
Before I knew it, I was paralysed with fear.
I’ve spent the last three weeks in a daily panic. Constantly reminding myself that ‘I need to write another blog post today’ but doing nothing about it.
While I was in Vietnam I tried to distract myself from the growing panic I was feeling by eating all of the delicious food they had to offer (big mistake). I convinced myself that I had too many exciting places to visit, and was ‘far too busy’ to actually sit down and write.
The more I put it off; the more monumentally difficult it became to write a post.
I began to lose sleep over it; yet STILL did nothing towards writing. Anxiety literally crippled me into inaction.
But, there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Although I have allowed this process to go on for three weeks longer than it should have; I have prior experience in knowing just how to put an end to it. You see, I’ve been suffocated by anxiety so many times in the past; that I’m a bit of a pro at knowing how to deal with it.
Back in the days, I may have stayed on the path that I was on; and ended up drifting COMPLETELY astray - probably into an absolute tailspin. But through trial and error; I now have the knowledge and ability to RE-ANCHOR myself.
When you feel anxiety gnawing at your heels; the best thing to do is to SHUT DOWN the initial niggley thoughts that you are having - the sooner, the better. Don’t allow those thoughts to whisper in your ear, as they will only trick you into believing what they have to say.
Then; push through and do THE EXACT
thing that anxiety is telling you that you can’t do.
If it’s telling you that you are too awkward to break the ice and talk to a stranger - get your arse over to someone new and spark up a convo. If it’s telling you that you are too lame to start your own business - start your own business. And if it’s telling you that you shouldn’t bother writing a new blog post because no one will read it - you know the rest…
Pushing through your anxiety is
honestly the best way to deal with it.
Don’t give it any power,
as it doesn’t deserve it.
Don’t let it stop you from keeping
momentum and flow going in your life.
I’m not sure why I didn’t listen to my inner voice, and shut down this latest bout of anxiety the moment I became aware of it.
What I do know, is that the longer you leave it to fester, the harder it is to eliminate.
I have had to work hard over the last three weeks to get to the point where I could actually write this blog post. I’ve had to ‘bring out the big guns’ in order to shake off the last dregs of panic that I’ve been carrying around. It has taken lots of positive self-talk, a change of environment, and some good old fashioned grounding to get to where I am now.
So; anxiety. Thanks for the visit; but once again you have outstayed your welcome. I know that you will be back; but I’ll make sure that I’m strong and ready for when you next try to drop-in.
Commentaires