10 Warning Signs and Symptoms of Depression

I have had several bouts of depression at different times throughout my life.

Some bouts lasted longer than others; yet all of them were downright miserable to live through.

Looking back in retrospect; there is one thing that scares me more than anything else about these spells of depression that I went through.

Each one was different.

I have experienced different symptoms during each bout. For example; at one stage I felt withdrawn, exhausted and simply wanted to hide away from the world. At another; I have had jumbled thoughts, and expressed my pain through heavy drinking and reckless behaviour. During some other bouts of depression I have literally been unable to stop myself from constantly crying.

Depression is such a confusing thing. Even to me! And I am a seasoned veteran. First of all, it is an invisible illness; which is makes it so dangerous in the first place.

Secondly; it has so many different faces. Each experience with depression can be different from the next; which makes it so much more difficult to identify.

Not only can it be difficult to recognise depression in a loved one; it can be difficult to recognise it in yourself.

During one of my most recent ‘dances’ with depression; I found myself unable to get out of bed. I slept for hours and hours and hours; and only woke to quickly eat a meal and gulp down a drink; before scurrying back to my bedroom to crash out all over again. My curtains were permanently closed and I effectively shut off from the world.

But you know what? I was convinced that I wasn’t depressed. I literally thought that I was just exhausted, and physically worn out. I mistakenly thought this; because the previous times I had been depressed, I had been extremely upset and spent a lot of time crying. Because I didn’t feel weepy or particularly anguished this time around; I didn’t realise what was happening. I knew something was wrong; I just genuinely didn’t think it was depression.

It wasn’t until insipid familiar voices began to whisper in my ear, that I realised that I wasn’t just tired or burnt out. You don’t have thoughts like “You’re useless. You’d be better off dead,” when you are healthy and well.

I realised that I was facing depression again; just in a different (and unfamiliar) form.

Instead of experiencing obvious torment; I was disassociating; having a total blackout of any emotions. I wasn’t feeling anything, because I had already passed that point.

And that’s a dangerous place to be in.

To avoid being in that state again; I now listen vigilantly to my inner voice. The voice that guides me; and leads me with the heart. The voice deep inside that knows what’s best for me; more than anyone else does. I constantly check in with my spirit, and take notice of what feels ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in my life.

No two journeys with depression will be the same. The many faces of depression can make it so difficult to spot. Where one person may appear frazzled and weepy; another may seem vibrant and bubbly. It’s extremely confusing, and hazardous.

However, there are some common signs of depression that you can look out for in yourself, and those you love. Here are ten of them:

1. Feeling helpless and hopeless

Depression will have you feeling like there is no way out of your current situation; or that you have literally zero prospects for the future. It’s not just a passing emotion; it’s an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness. You actually feel like nothing will EVER get better. “What’s the point?” Is a common thought when you are depressed. This feeling can manifest itself in the form of self-hate, guilt or feeling like you have no purpose in life.

2. Changes in your sleeping patterns

Depression can wreak havoc with the way you sleep. You may find that you stay up all night; worrying about everything under the sun. Feeling totally wired and unable to sleep, no matter what you try. Or; you may feel absolutely fatigued; to the point where you literally cannot get out of bed. When you feel drained and tired all the time, you begin to withdraw from doing the things you love to do; which makes for a vicious cycle.

3. Losing interest in life - even the beautiful things

When you have depression you could be standing on a magnificent beach, and still not fully experience it’s beauty. It can make you feel disconnected from the world; almost as if you are viewing things through a lens. You can lose interest in your favourite pastimes; hanging out with friends, going out or sex. It can make you literally unable to feel pleasure or joy; even from things that you once loved. This makes looking forward to anything virtually impossible.

4. Change in your appetite or weight

Some people with depression may find themselves unable to eat; as they feel so sickened with anxiety and anguish. While others may take to food to relieve the pain they are feeling; and eat everything in sight. This can cause fluctuations in weight. Some may experience significant weight loss; while others will gain a lot of weight. Obviously the experience is different for everyone; but this can be an indication of depression.

5. Inability to control your emotions

Depression can make you feel like your emotions are simply uncontrollable. You may experience outbursts of anger; where you say and do horrible things to people you love. You may feel anxious, agitated or physically violent. On the other hand; you may feel extremely fragile, and find yourself crying constantly. You may even just feel completely emotionally numb, and not feel anything at all. All of these are warning signs to monitor.

6. Loss of energy

Many people think that depression is simply a disease of the mind. However, it affects you physically as much as it does mentally. It can leave you feeling exhausted, drained and sluggish. It literally makes your body feel heavy, and makes small tasks that you would normally do with ease, feel monumental. Whenever I have experienced depression; it feels like I have concrete blocks tied to my legs. It literally takes huge effort just to move one foot in front of the other to keep moving.

7. Behaving recklessly

When you are depressed, it is common to look for an outlet for your pain. Many people try to escape what they are feeling through risky behaviour. This comes in so many forms - drugs, binge drinking, gambling, fighting, violence, drink driving, unsafe sex - the list goes on. These impulsive and self-destructive behaviours momentarily numb the symptoms of depression; but they are just quick-fixes that actually make it worse in the long run.

8. Feeling self-hatred

Depression can have you looking in the mirror, thinking about how disgusting and ugly you are; or convinced that you are stupid and useless. You may feel overwhelmed with strong feelings of worthlessness; and harshly criticise yourself constantly. Having a underlying feeling of self-loathing can be a symptom of depression. It can range in severity from a general feeling of being ‘not good enough’, to being berated constantly by your inner voice.

9. Over-working

You can become addicted to keeping busy; as a way to distract yourself from the inner turmoil of depression. Working long hours and piling on the tasks can be a coping mechanism. A way of not facing the darkness. It is common for people with depression to work as much as possible; to cut out the possibility of having to sit in their sorrow. When you work yourself to the bone; you can begin to believe you don’t deserve anything more.

10. Physical pain

Depression can manifest itself as physical pain; particularly in men. Physical symptoms can be an indication that depression is about to begin; or is already taking place. Here are just a few of the physical symptoms that can result from depression: fatigue, back pain, aching muscles, headaches, blurry vision, stomach pain, nausea, cramps, bloating, chest pain, joint pain, dizziness, lightheadness, shortness of breath and more.

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life; but when the emotions of hopelessness take over and don’t budge, you may have depression. Monitor any of the symptoms above in yourself and those you love, and don’t be afraid to seek help if you believe that depression is what you are experiencing.